Movie Quotes: The Laundromat

 Ramon: First of all,
there are some things
you should know
before we begin.
Mr. Mossack: For instance,
we are real people
just like you.
Ramon: Secondly, we did not
write a word of this.
To be perfectly frank,
we would have preferred
all of this remain a secret.
Mr. Mossack: But we had no choice
in the matter.
We just woke up one day
and everything changed.
Ramon: There were stories about us
everywhere: TV, newspapers,
and the internet.
Mr. Mossack: And now it is our turn
to tell a few stories.
Think of then as fairy tales
that actually happened.
Ramon: Don't worry,
these stories are not just about us.
They're also about you.
Mr. Mossack: And how is that possible?
Ramon: Because all these stories
are about money.
Mr. Mossack: The idea of money.
The necessity of money.
The secret life of money.
Ramon: Before money,
there was only the barter system.
You tried to trade what you had
or you could do for what you needed.
You have bananas, but you need a cow.
I have a cow, but I hate bananas.
So, as you can imagine,
there was a limit to this system.
Bananas turn brown over time
and cows can, you know, wander away.
So an agreed upon
medium of exchange was needed.
Mr. Mossack: What is a medium of exchange?
Well, it could be a nugget of gold.
Or some other shiny rocks
that are generally found to be scarce.
It could be a slip of paper,
with words on it.
Or pictures of powerful people.
And if you read those words,
you will see that they are arranged
into a promise of value.
Ramon: Slip of paper
which you can not peel and eat,
and do not give milk
are what we all agreed
to call "money".
And these slips gave birth
to many other pieces of paper
with more writing on them.
Mr. Mossack: And some of those words,
they told the story of credit.
Ramon: Oh, stay with us now.
This is important.
Mr. Mossack: Credit is an invention
that meant you no longer needed
to carry around millions of bananas
or slips of paper.
Ramon: So, you now have something
invisible credit, standing in for
something tangible, a cow.
Mr. Mossack: Credit said that even if you
didn't have all the bananas you need
for what you want,
you could borrow bananas
from the future.
Ramon: So, credit is just the future tense
of the language of money.
Mr. Mossack: Speaking of the future.
Ramon: Things have gotten
a little more complicated.
Actually, a lot more complicated.
Mr. Mossack: There is more money
than ever before.
Ramon: Our money has more names
than ever before.
Mr. Mossack: Commodities, loans,
stocks, and bonds.
Funds and funds of funds.
Ramon: Futures, equity, derivatives, securitized debts,
shorts and margin calls.
Financial instruments.
Mr. Mossack: Words. Invisible. Abstract.
Very different from cows.


SECRET 1: THE MEEK ARE SCREWED

SECRET 2: IT'S JUST SHELLS.

Ramon: So, how does it all work?
This world of offshore companies?
And how do you know if it is for you?
Mr. Mossack: First of all,
you must ask ypurself,
are you wealthy?
There are just over two thousand
billionaires on planet Earth.
Maybe you are one of them, or
maybe you are just a millionaire.
There are 15 million of them
in the world.
Ramon: Perhaps you are older now
and it's time to contemplate your legacy.
Or maybe you are younger and
building an empire like our friends here.

Ramon: Your ambitions lead you to a place
that deals with money.
For instance, a bank. A big bank.
Probably in Europe.
And you find yourself sitting
across a desk from a wealth manager,
a financial advisor, a banker.
You lay out your fears.
Income tax, state tax, inheritance tax,
capital gains taxes.
Ramon: Your advisor understands your concerns and suggests you set up
an offshore company,
where your assets will be safe from scrutiny.
And that's where we come in.

SECRET 3: TELL A FRIEND

Well, some people believe
that time is just an illusion.
That all moments are the same moment.
Mr. Mossack

Bad is.. it's such a big word
for being such a small word.
Mr. Mossack

SECRET 4: BRIBERY 101

Do not ever let a man
destroy your sisterhood.
- Miranda

...buy a dress that says to the world,
"I did it."
Miranda

She could leave if she wants,
but she stays.
- Charles

Ramon: More than anything else
our clients expect one thing from us.
Mr. Mossack: Privacy.
Ramon: Now, privacy and secrecy
are two different things.
Privacy is locking the bathroom door
when you want to take a pee.
Mr. Mossack: Secrecy on the other hand,
is locking the door because
what you are doing in a bathroom
is not what people usually do.
Ramon: And sometimes,
after privacy has had a few drinks,
it might decide it wants
to spend the night with the secrecy
just to explore their relationship.
Mr. Mossack: But where can they
be together without
people peeking in through the curtains?
Ramon: Well, usually,
in an offshore company.
That way, someone looks in a window,
they see an empty room.
Mr. Mossack: And the window and
the room could be in two different places.

SECRET 5: MAKING A KILLING

Thank You, Lord, thank You.
Thank You for everything.
I hate to ask this,
but I was just wondering when exactly
the meek will be inheriting the earth.
Will that be in my lifetime
or in my grandkids?
And the part about
"the first being the last and
the last shall be first",
when does that start?
And what about the rest of us
in the middle, you know?
We're just falling further and
further and further behind.
My mother used to say,
"May lightning strike 'em all
without hitting me."
Well, aren't you still in charge of lightning?
I know.
I know I'm supposed to say,
"Forgive them, Father.
They know not what they do."
But I think they do know g*odd*mn
well what they're doing.
They just don't care.
Or just one of them could say,
"I'm sorry", you know, and mean it.
Or go to jail.
Or both. Yeah. Hey, that would be nice.
How about both?
- Ellen

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