and talk to my father.
You just couldn't talk to him for long.
He knew so much.
He got all the answers right on jeopardy.
He was a genius.
Every answer.
Every time.
- Liz
That's the thing.
Your parents are your Gods.
I looked at them as an example
of what I should find every where
in the world.
And they paid so little attention
to my needs.
But then it felt that their need
was so powerful that
it didn't make me feel hurt or angry
but they didn't looked into me.
Because I felt it's okay..
- Liz
Figure out my life.
Do people really do that?
Do they do that,
while they're falling
down the deep dark hole?
- Liz
Do any of us bargain for our lives?
It seems to me
we just gonna fall into them.
And then we have to do the best we can.
- Liz
Sometimes I feel like there's a skin,
on the world.
And those of us who were born under it,
can see through it.
We just can't get through it.
- Liz
People die. Things decay.
Everything that seems so solid
is meaningless.
All that's left is the gestures
we make.
Gestures and air.
That's what we remember.
- Liz
In week there would be no trace of her.
But what did it matter.
This wasn't the real world.
We only live in each others hearts.
- Liz
Teacher: Liz, they're just people.
Liz: Not people like me.
Why not people like me?
What made them so different?
Because of where they were born.
I was working as hard as I could
so I didn't end up on food stands
or hustling.
What? What if I worked even more?
I was so close to this skin now
I can touch it.
- Liz
The world moves.
You're just a spec.
It can all happen without you.
Situations are not conducive
to what you want for yourself.
Someone else's needs.
Someone else's plight is going to be
stronger than yours is.
I think people just get frustrated
with how harsh life can be
so they spend their time
dwelling on that frustration.
I'm calling it anger.
Keeping their eyes shut to the wholeness
of situation.
To all the little tiny things
that have come together to make 'it'
what it is.
- Liz
Reporter: Liz! Liz!
How d'you do this?
Liz: How can I not do it?
My parents showed me what the alternative was.
Reporter: Didn't you ever feel sorry for yourself?
Liz: Sorry?
Reporter: Sleeping in subways.
Eating at a dumpsters.
Liz: That had always been my life.
And I really..
I feel that I got lucky because
any sense of security was pulled out
from under with me
So I was forced to look forward.
I had too, there, was no turning back.
And I reached the point where I just thought
alright I'm gonna work as hard as I possibly can
and see what happens.
and now I'm going to college
and the New York Times is going to pay.
Reporter: So you were lucky...
But is there anything you change,
if you were able?
Liz: Yeah. I'd give it back.
All of it.
If I could have my family back.
I don't have to carry my whole life with me.
But I do.
Everyone I've known.
Every thing I've done.
This is cheap-off.
I forget the little things
And it's still hard to carry alone.
So that's why I've told you.
That's why I've told you my story.
Now I can lay that burden down
Put it to rest and I can go on.
Hi, mom.
- Liz
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