Not even a sound on
the streets of New York.
Just the beat of
my own heart.
I have mail... from you.
- Kathleen
Christina: Are you online?
George: Well, as far as
I'm concerned
the internet is just
another way of being
rejected by a woman.
The whole purpose of
places like Starbucks
is for people with
no decision-making
ability whatsoever
to make 6 decisions just to
buy one cup of coffee.
Short, tall; light, dark;
caf, decaf; low-fat, nonfat, etc.
So people who don't know
what the hell they're doing
or who on earth they are
can, for 2.95
get not just a cup of
coffee but an absolutely
defining sense of self.
- Joe
Sometimes I wonder
about my life.
I lead a small life.
Well, valuable, but small.
And sometimes I wonder.
Do I do it because I like it
or because I haven't been brave?
So much of what I see
reminds me of something
I read in a book, when
shouldn't it be
the other way around?
I don't really want an answer.
I just want to send
this cosmic question
out into the void.
So, good night, dear void.
- Kathleen
Joe's mail:
Do you ever feel you've become
the worst version of yourself?
That a Pandora's Box of all
the secret, hateful parts --
your arrogance, your spite,
your condescension --
has sprung open?
Someone provokes you,
and instead of just
smiling and moving on,
you zing them.
"Hello. It's Mr. Nasty."
I'm sure you have no idea
what I'm talking about.
Kathleen's mail:
No, I know what you mean,
and I'm completely jealous.
What happens to me
when I'm provoked is
that I get tongue-tied.
My mind goes... blank.
Then I spend all night
tossing and turning
trying to figure out
what I should have said.
For example...
To the bottom-dweller
who recently belittled my existence?
Nothing...
Nothing, even now.
Even now...
Days later...
I can't figure it out.
Joe's mail:
Wouldn't it be wonderful
if I could pass
all my zingers to you
and then I would never
behave badly.
And you could
behave badly all the time
and we'd both be happy.
But then, on the other hand,
I must warn you
that when you finally
have the pleasure of saying
the thing you mean to say
the moment you mean to say it,
remorse inevitably follows.
Do you think we should meet?
It's coming on Christmas.
They're cutting down trees.
Do you know that
Joni Mitchell song?
"I wish I had a river
I could skate away on."
Such a sad song, and not really
about Christmas at all,
but I was thinking about it
tonight, as I was decorating
my Christmas tree
unwrapping funky ornaments
made of popsicle sticks
and missing my mother so much
I almost couldn't breathe.
I always miss my mother
at Christmas
but somehow it is worse this year
since I need some advice from her.
And I need her to make me
some cocoa and tell me
that everything that's
going badly in my life
will sort itself out.
Joe's mail:
What kind of advice do you need?
Can I help?
Kathleen's mail:
Can you help?
I wish you could help.
Instant message from: NY152
...You are at way.
"It's not personal, it's business.
It's not personal, it's business."
Recite that to yourself
every time you feel
you're losing your nerve.
I know you worry
about being brave.
This is your chance.
Fight.
Fight to the death.
Frank: What about you?
Is there someone else?
Kathleen: No.
No. But...
But there is the dream
of someone else.
I came home tonight
and got into the elevator
to go to my apartment.
An hour later,
I got out of the elevator,
and Brinkley and I
moved out.
Suddenly, everything had become clear.
It's a long story,
full of the personal details
we avoid so carefully.
Let me just say...
There was a man sitting
in the elevator with me
who knew exactly
what he wanted
and I found myself wishing
I were as lucky as he.
- Joe
People are always telling you
that change is a good thing
but all they're really saying
is that something you didn't
want to happen at all
has happened.
- Kathleen
No comments:
Post a Comment